Thursday, May 30, 2013


After looking at some recent photos of Kamal on Facebook, one of my aunts wrote to me, concerned.

"Would you please consider not to let the hair cover his eyes, or one of his eyes all the time," she lobbied. "I heard people said that it's not good for his eyesight in the future. And it worries me. So please see what can you do."

Well. After bristling for about one second, I realized she wasn't wrong. His hair has been getting a little out of control lately. 

Fix my hair, please. FIX IT. NOW. 

But what to do about it? It's not like I set some great example of not-in-my-eyes hair. 

Apple didn't fall far from the shaggy tree. 

Besides, I love his hair. I love all of its delicious, crazy, softest-thing-I've-ever-touched wildness.

I love that, as I move through my day, touching anything soft at all brings me a clear and visceral memory of holding, rocking and stroking my silken-headed little darling.

And he loves it too. When he is a little distressed or falling asleep or otherwise in need of comfort, he will hold a strand of his hair the way many babies will hold a corner of a security blanket--and often he'll keep holding it while sleeping. 

Security hair

I couldn't bear to cut it. Could. Not. Bear. It. The very idea makes me want to cry. And I know it's irrational, and I know one day he'll need a haircut, but it just feels too wrong, too soon. Hair has always been overly imbued with meaning for me, and, well. Right now is not the time for me to try and get past a deeply entrenched old emotional pattern. Maybe when we're all getting a little more sleep.

All that being said, though, it's not really okay to have Kamal grow up thinking the whole world is curtained with fuzzy black strands. And we do like seeing his lovely face. So we had to figure out how to get his hair out of his eyes.

I researched hair gel-type products for babies, even finding some homemade all-natural hair gel recipes, but the idea of his baby going around with gelled hair weirded Adam out. Hats and hairbands or bandanas are a no-go so far--Kamal just takes them right off. Our friend Mayumi suggested a sort of topknot, like a samurai might wear, and that felt like the right path to take. We tried it. Et 
voilĂ :

Samurai-inspired baby!

I am loving it, and I'm pretty sure Kamal is, too. At least, he doesn't seem to have changed his generally pleased demeanor. It's got to be nice to be able to see straight ahead again, right?  Bonus: he hasn't figured out yet that he can get the rubber band out by himself. 


  1. So pleased the topknot worked out! It's my go-to when my hair is being naughty too--or when I'm just lazy.

    What is it about the hair of sons? I can't cut it yet either. You just know it'll grow back-- but as boy hair, not baby hair. A rite of passage--passage to boyhood--happening every day in little ways. Some I celebrate, some I mourn, and some I stubbornly resist.

  2. your boy is beautiful. thanks for sharing his light and yours!